What Should I do if I am with a Sex or Porn Addict?

01/28/18

 

I work with many men who meet criteria for sex and/or porn addiction every day.  One thing I notice is that although they are struggling with the consequences of their acting out behaviors, what about their significant others?  In my clinical experience, which is backed up by the research, the significant other of the sex addict is suffering along with their partner.  In many cases they are struggling with hurt and betrayal that is so severe, that they meet criteria for trauma.  I have heard of cases where a significant other places the milk in the cupboard and the cereal in the refrigerator, due to be so dissociated, due to their trauma.

As a Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist, I always ask about how my client’s significant others are dealing with their sex addiction.  In most cases, if their partner has discovered their acting out behaviors, they are devastated.  I am writing this post as a plead to the significant others of individuals dealing with sexual problem behaviors to also make sure they are receiving the support they need and deserve.  I often have significant others come into one of my client’s session, with their written consent, to give them a chance to share about the pain they are experiencing, to learn more about their addict’s history of sexual problem behaviors, and to empathize with what they are going through.  I also give them resources that include, but are not limited to a therapist who works with partners of sex addicts, a support group such as, POSA and S-ANON and book titles etc.

If you are a partner or family member of someone you suspect to be a sex or porn addict, please make sure you receive support.  For more information, please start by calling me or scheduling online at (980) 263-9608 Schedule Appointment

David Sanchez, LPC, LCAS, CSAT is located in Charlotte, NC, but can also assist individuals living anywhere in North Carolina through e-therapy.

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